Airplanes

heather, i'm with you on the no roller coasters. i did an old wooden one to prove yea or nay (i was 8), and i'm a nay kind of guy. which makes sense that i don't like being knocked around while securely strapped in, but i will be the first to go on an airplane. love 'em! maybe that can be your next post.--Paulo

My most memorable airplane experience was in September 1996. Heather and I were flying to Barcelona to visit the church for which we would potentially work. We departed from Colorado Springs and had stops in St. Louis, Washington D.C., New York and, finally, Barcelona. It sounds crazy that we would have to make all those stops, but when you’re 26 and your wife is pregnant, you do whatever it takes to get the cheapest price.

On the flight to St. Louis, I felt a little queasy, but figured it was nothing to worry about. Big mistake. On the flight to Washington D.C. I started hurling.

There’s one thing you should know about me. Once Troy starts blowin’, Troy don’t stop. So…more o’ the same to New York.

I think the flight attendants considered charging me for the in-flight barf bags. If they had, they would have made a pretty penny.

We almost didn’t get on the plane to Barcelona. That’s when I discovered Dramamine and business class. The flight attendants gave me a whole row all to myself, far, far away from all human contact and earshot. I laid down the whole flight, slept and next thing I knew we were landing in Barcelona.

Ever since then, I have been a Dramamine junkie. I gots to have da stuff. So, when we fly as a family, Heather tends to the kids while Daddy takes a nice long winter’s nap.

Hm. I don’t mind flying, for some reason.

Now that I am old (ish) and wise (ish), I don’t enjoy flying as much as I did when I was a kid. For one thing, now I have responsibilities. Mainly 3 children 2 children and 1 drugged husband
2 children and my charming husband. And now that I’m mostly a grown-up I know about plane crashes and all that sort of thing. Turbulence makes me especially nervous because I don’t particularly want to deal with any air-sick members of my family.

Even though I am a small person, planes these days make me slightly claustrophobic. If I’m sitting with my family I don’t mind as much, but if I am traveling without the kids, I prefer to be on the aisle so that I have a little breathing space. And so I don’t have to crawl over people to go to the bathroom.

One of the things that confuses me is how they choose the planes for different routes. It always seems like the planes you have to spend the most hours on are the smaller ones. Then, when you are on a 2-hour flight between Chicago and Dallas, you get on a 777 that is like walking around in your living room, with the personal screens of endless entertainment options. Where were those little screens when I was trying to keep my 7-year-old occupied on the 9-hour flight between Madrid and Chicago?

Of course, it probably doesn’t help that we buy the absolute cheapest ticket, which means NO PERKS.