The Superbowl

Time for honesty: I lost interest in the Super Bowl long before we moved to Europe. I grew tired of all the pre-game hot air and the broadcasting network’s attempt to take a three-hour game and turn it into a half-day affair.

America is the only country I know that can take a coin toss and turn it into Presidential event. And why, may I ask, is this moment before the first kick-off regarded with such import when three-fourths of the Super Bowl match-ups would more aptly be called “mismatch-ups” anyway? I mean, think about it, people: it’s a rare Super Bowl that doesn’t end in a lopsided victory.

Besides, professional football in America has morphed into a whole different sport. Gone are the days when men cut from the stone age battled snow, wind and rain, in addition to each other. Now the sport seems dominated by either a bunch of pampered, overpaid prima donna’s or a motley crew of overweight fried-chicken eaters. And where’s the sport in artificially controlled environments? What’s more, in “the good ol’ days” a football game had flow and rhythm, dynamic movement. Nowadays, I end up with the sensation that I’ve just taken an interminable ride on a train that stops, then starts, jostles, stops, starts, jerks, stops, starts and sputters, on and on. The game today seems to have lost its through-line. It’s quite possible I would enjoy myself more playing Tiddly Winks with a turtle.

Something tells me this is one topic Heather and I will agree on. Thank God for that.

At the risk of bringing down tons of American wrath on my head, I’m just going to put it out there: I hate American football (Let us agree that for this post, “football” will refer to American football, as opposed to the superior, “futbol”). Granted, I’m not a big sports freak in general, but football is pretty much at the bottom of my list. While the topic of this post is not football, I just have to point out that all the starting, and the stopping, and the jumping on each other, and the trying to kill each other, it is crazy making. For me. You do whatever you want.

Anyway, that brings us to the Superbowl. It has always held some sort of vague place in my brain, again, because of the growing up outside of Amurica. Plus, we’re Canadians. We do hockey. ANYWAY. I confess that although I may have gone to one Superbowl party in my life, it was really for the food, and I may or may not have watched even a small fraction of said game.

Of course I do know all about Superbowl COMMERCIALS. Sort of. I know that the big companies spend all their money advertising during the game (which is easy, with all the stopping. And the starting.) And I know that celebrities may or may not expose parts of their body that I definitely do not want to see.

So all in all, it’s a good thing I don’t watch.