Golf

When I was a kid I thought people who watched golf on television were freaks. “Why,” I thought, “would anyone want to watch something so boring?” It only took a few tries at the game myself to appreciate the brilliance of televised golfers.

Having said that, golf is one of those games with which I have a love-hate relationship. Most times when I go golfing (which isn’t often) I will be on, say, hole 7 of 9 and I will be muttering to myself, “Never again will I play this stupid game! I hate it! The ball never does what I want it to do!” But then, on hole 9, I’ll hit a brilliant shot right onto the green, close to the pin; or, I’ll sink a magnificent putt or nail a superb drive. And all of a sudden, my mood changes, and I fall into the trap every golfer falls into, thinking, “I can’t wait to come again!” For some reason, that one good shot was worth it all.

I’m actually not very good at golf. I consider it a good round if I can get one over par on a hole, because most times I’ll get two or three over. I imagine that’s because I don’t get to play very much. If I had the chance to play more often and visit the driving range once or twice a week to hit a big bucket of balls, I imagine I’d cut my score by a third before long.

I have never played golf in real life. When I was a little girl, my parents would sometimes take us to a golf course in Quito on Sunday afternoons. It was on the side of Pichincha, and my brother and I loved to roll down the grassy hills. On our honeymoon, I followed Troy around a golf course in Red Wing, Minnesota. Was I a good wife or what? I have played mini-golf a few times and enjoyed it.

I’m a regular golfer now, in my living room. I’m an OK golfer on the Wii, though no match for my hubby. The booger actually got a hole in one. On the Wii. He now gets annoyed if he can’t match his 9 under par score. I don’t like to play golf with him anymore. I think my best score is +1. I’m fairly certain that I could never golf successfully in real life. For one thing, I doubt I could muster the power to hit a ball (if I even managed to connect it to my club) more than 20 feet. However, I think I would do an excellent job of driving a golf cart! For now, I’ll stick to the Wii. It soothes my golf ego by complimenting me “Nice shot!” and “Nice on!” That’s enough for me.